Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The Happy Sad Day....

For those who don't know, my mom passed away of Cancer on November 12, 2000.  We only knew of her diagnosis for three short days. After her death I was devastated.  My mom was my best friend.  I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself and my grief.  I saw a Pug on tv and thought they were the cutest dog I ever saw.  They looked HAPPY.  I told my husband I wanted a Pug.  He loved big dogs and said no.  I continued to beg.  For MONTHS and MONTHS.  He went with me to a local Pug Halloween party in October of 2002.  He could not believe how wonderful Pugs were in person and said we could look into getting a Pug.  At that time we didn't know anything about Pug rescue.  Barely anyone we knew had a Pug, so we started researching breeders.  Everyone I called had no puppies and if they did had a waiting list.  I finally connected with a breeder who said her Pug was due at Thanksgiving.  She told me to call after Christmas.  When I called her son answered and told me that the Pugs were all spoken for.  They had been born earlier than expected....November 12th.   I couldn't believe the date!  When I spoke to the breeder she told me there was a waiting list, I explained about my mom's death and my extreme sadness...and the date.  She moved me to the top of the list.  On January 3rd I got a call....she had a puppy for me.  The next day we drove out and got our girl.  I am not sure how to feel about the day/date/sadness right now.  14 years have passed since my mom's death.  The edges of those wounds have softened.  We spent the last 11 years celebrating a happy occasion of Chloe's birthday and now that little spark of happiness is gone.  No one can take all these years of memories from us, but our hearts have a hole, the edges are rough.  I know time will help soften those edges, but the sorrow never goes completely away.  We have to hang on to the happiness, the joy, the love, to help us get thru.  






missing never ends....

11 comments:

Two French Bulldogs said...

What a nice tribute to a special woman
Lily & Edward

Mary Ann said...

You were so blessed, with your beautiful mom, and with little Chloe!

Payton's mom said...

Such a beautiful story. Chloe was meant to be yours. Both of these special ladies will stay with you forever. Praying your heart feels peace and the sharp edges of pain soften soon.
Love,
Christy

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

that is a wonderful tribute

Jenny said...

Well said. I'm so sorry for your sadness. I look forward to reading 30 days of Chloe every day.

stellaroselong said...

I am absolutely sure they are dancing together in the heavens.
with love
stella rose

Julie said...

A very touching story
Loves and licky kisses
Princess Leah xxx

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Please keep holding on. Such sadness to loose our loved ones- the ones who keep our hearts beating.
love
tweedles

Idaho PugRanch said...

I have no words today - just hugs and love
Linda & the kids

Charliedownunder said...

Crikey ... your Mom sure was beautiful, aye, as was Chloe. such wonderful memories you must have of both of them.

tubby3pug said...

your mom was so beautiful. How lovely that Chloe's birthday softened such a difficult anniversary for you. I am so sorry for your loss and we are thinking of you

retro rover

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